“We’re a family here”: We will exploit you and you will like it.

Published on: 07/31/24 11:07 AM

Posted

After our last blog on employer brand authenticity – we weren’t ready to leave one of those cultural red flags alone.

We’ve all heard those four seemingly ordinary, but extremely unsettling words when trapesing through job ads, scrolling through LinkedIn, or maybe even looking at your own employer… It’s a phrase that personally sends shivers down our spine: “We’re a family here”.

Big businesses often use this ‘rallying call’ in their Employee Value Proposition (EVP) and employer branding, to give current and potential employees an idea of the warmth of their people and culture – but usually ends up with the opposite effect. While we’re sure it’s never meant with malicious intent, calling your team ‘a family’, has garnered its fair share of haters.

That family feeling is genuinely a sentiment we cherish in our work and the teams we help, where bonds are genuine, support is unwavering, and everyone’s got each other’s backs. But when the corporate giants throw it around, does it ring true or just hollow?

First, let’s acknowledge why “we’re a family here” is appealing. At its best, this phrase paints images of support, unity, and a sense of belonging. In a workplace that genuinely embodies these values, employees feel seen, heard, and valued. They trust their colleagues, celebrate the wins together, and tackle challenges as a united front.

For small businesses and startups, this can be the bedrock of their culture. Close-knit teams where people know each other well and share experiences will often build relationships that extend beyond office walls. In these settings, the “family” ethos can thrive naturally – but that feeling will need a new name as the business evolves and the team grows.

Of course, it’s different for a family-run business – where the family element is a fact. Family-run businesses can offer benefits such as close relationships, fast decision-making and development opportunities, but can also exhibit nepotism and favouritism that can easily lead to resentment. We believe it’s important to hold onto that heritage as the team grows and let it continue to be a part of your brand story, but people processes must be put in place to ensure fair and professional treatment, support, salary and benefits for all staff. Because, even when businesses claim to be “family-run,” they still need to back it up with genuine practices that put people first – whether they are related to the family or not.

So, let’s flip the coin. In these growing teams, the “family” concept can get lost in translation. With layers of management, vast departments, and far-flung offices, it’s more than a challenge to cultivate a familial atmosphere. Employees might find the term hypocritical, especially when combined with impersonal policies, a lack of transparency, or a noticeable disconnect between your C-suite, leadership and ground-level workers.

The general consensus is that a business comparing itself to a family can come across as insincere and manipulative. The line “We’re a family here” can lead to a dangerous sense of loyalty and responsibility. Comparing your employees to a family can place huge pressure on them, with the expectation to emotionally attach themselves to the business, or value work above their personal lives. It’s unhealthy to encourage your people to go to the ends of the earth to support the business – especially when they may not receive the same dedication in return.

Ultimately, pushing the familial element goes against the principles of a smoothly operating business – a family doesn’t let people go, recruit new people, or pay their members to perform. A family can have a lack of boundaries and toxicity, which would create a dysfunctional workplace dynamic that blurs the lines of personal and professional.

It doesn’t have to be like that. Encouraging collaboration can be done without forcing co-workers to be closer than they need to, with aimless team building or nights out that might not be for everyone. Not everyone feels the same about work – it’s up to them to decide their level of involvement in your culture, but it’s up to your leadership to provide the tools, support and environment that encourages them to be a part of the journey.

If a company, big or small, truly wants to be a “family,” or to embrace a feeling of closeness, actions speak louder than words. Here’s what that looks like:

  1. A Supportive Environment: Real families support each other through thick and thin. In business, this means offering robust employee support programs, flexible working conditions, and genuine care for employees’ wellbeing.
  2. Open and Honest Communication: Families talk. In the workplace, this translates to transparent communication channels where feedback is encouraged and valued, and decisions are communicated clearly and honestly.
  3. A Shared Set of Values: Families often have shared values and goals. Companies need to ensure their purpose and values resonate with their employees, creating a shared sense of belonging.
  4. Investing in Your People: Families invest in each other’s growth. For businesses, this means continuous learning opportunities, career development, and recognising and rewarding hard work.

So, we think it’s time to forget ‘family’, and build a community feeling with your employees. Give freedom, flexibility and trust. It’s about working together and being able to rely on one another, within the boundaries of the workplace. Being part of that community allows us the opportunity to learn from one another, learn new perspectives, and feel empowered and supported by our colleagues. Rather than feeling that you owe or are owed something by your colleagues, or that the expectations of loyalty are just too high – in a community, we each understand the roles we play in the bigger picture, we work towards one common goal and build meaningful relationships.

Community involves listening and mutual respect. And, while these are the values we look for in our people or the like-minded people we want to hire, it needs to start at the top. So, ditch ‘We’re a family’ and embrace community. Show that you truly value the people who turn up every day and make it happen. Allow your leadership to be led by that community, be inspired by them, trust them and treat them with care.

Because your company culture is not about buzzwords or branding; it’s a feeling. It’s about real connections and shared joy in the journey. So, the next time you hear “we’re a family here” in a corporate context, ask yourself, does the company walk the walk, or is it just talk?

Here’s to finding (and fostering) workplaces where trust, respect and human connection are alive and well.